The loneliest day of the year is just a few days away! (Unless, you are in a relationship which makes it somewhat less lonely . . . )
If you’re in a relationship then there comes the usual gifts every Valentine’s Day: flowers and chocolate. Since I am not a botanist, I figured I would rank review the most common Valentine’s Day chocolates from worst to best to help out anyone trying to weed out the worst of the bunch. My test subject: Russell Stover heart-shaped assortment.
And yes, I did feel horrible after eating seven chocolates.
7. Nut Caramel
Look, I love caramel, but I haven’t been able to enjoy it for the past three years with braces on. Even if I didn’t have a braces bias, I still would have rated this chocolate the worst because of its deceptive lack of nuts and the milk chocolate outer layer being just too hard to bite into: 4 out of 10.
6. Peanut Cup
Eating this “thing” may have been the most disappointing experience in my life. I was expecting something akin to the masterpieces known as Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups—this was not the peanut butter odyssey of flavor. This “peanut cup” was just mediocre milk chocolate with some gross tasting peanuts. Hey Cupid? Be better: 5 out of 10.
5. Caramel
My braces continued to play a bias when it came to caramel; however, the caramel in this sample tasted much creamier, there were no annoying nuts in the way, and it was a much easier chew. As much as I want to give caramel a higher score, my poor orthodonture gives caramel a 6 out of 10.
4. Chocolate Butter Cream
Nougat: is it the nectar of the gods? Not by any means! But chocolate butter cream is still solid enough in a chewy and melting combination to rank much higher than the previous contenders. The nougat gods demand a 7 out of 10.
3. Strawberry Crème
I was worried that the strawberry in the strawberry crème would overpower the chocolate flavor, even though I like chocolate-covered strawberries. You don’t want the strawberry to be too distracting from the milk chocolate itself. Fortunately, the strawberry crème does exactly just that: a balanced blend that gets an 8.5 out of 10 score.
2. Vanilla Crème
Is there anyone who hates vanilla? Seriously. Who? Well, I enjoyed the basic vanilla of the vanilla crème and paired with the nice white chocolate drizzle on top that just melted in my mouth, vanilla crème earned itself another 8.55 out of 10 (only slightly better than the strawberry crème).
1. Truffle
Is this the most pretentious answer? Yes. Do I care? No. This is the chocolate that I think of when I see huge heart-shaped chocolate boxes. A hash of dark chocolate drizzle and filling along with a smooth milk chocolate shell was meant to be consumed by star-crossed lovers. Truffles are the chocolate to love: 9 out of 10.
Now you know what chocolate will really make your valentine head over heels for you—hopefully.